Never mind the proverbial 'four-pointer', this was the real thing. With so much rain and so few games since Christmas, a fixture pile-up is imminent. In an effort to relieve some pressure at the end of the season, Logica and Thameside who had not played each other so far this season, were requested to play a dreaded 'double-header'. Rather than play two games of one hour on the same morning, the two teams were ordered to play one game of ninety minutes but with two games points at stake. Thus it was all or nothing, do or die, time to stand up and be counted and all that kind of bollocks.

Logica FC opted for nothing, dying and lying down for the most part. Woolhouse and Lambert started the ball rolling by failing to show at the designated noncey French pastry shop, and indeed not showing until the game had kicked off. Woolhouse proffered his well-worn runny nose excuse; Lambert pleaded car collection complications. Although Logica's strong squad system enabled them to start with eleven, this last minute plan-changing can only have had a negative effect. However, this cannot completely explain a quite appalling first half against very mediocre opposition. Defensively the whole team was a shambles, unable to mark their Thameside opponents, and extremely slow to react in every situation. Offensively (and it was offensive to those Logica supporters who had braved the elements to come and watch), they were perhaps even worse. The few times they were fortunate enough to regain possession, Logica lost it immediately: usually through making a complete pigs ear of a simple pass, or, occasionally through a strange obsession with dribbling headlong into the nearest Thameside defender. This may all sound a bit harsh, but "If Selected..." has always prided itself on telling the truth, and the truth is that Logica were absolutely crap. Defensive disorganisation combined with midfield and attacking lacadaisicality, led to a whole string of chances for Thameside.

Indeed the only positive thing to come out of the first seventy minutes was the continuing excellence of goalkeeper Wildsmith. It is perhaps an appropriate moment to reflect on this relatively unsung hero. His goalkeeping is in a class of it's own, and the brilliant, not to say important, saves this man has made are too numerous to mention. With his unassuming and modest nature, and the consistency with which he pulls off these outstanding and frequently brave stops, he is in severe danger of being taken for granted. If an attacker is clear through and bearing down on goal, generally most Logica players will feel quite confident that Wildsmith will make the required save, and this expectation often leads to Wildsmith not receiving the credit, praise or even gratitude that he deserves. Earlier this season, a shadow was cast over Logica's finest number one, with the outrageous WildGate allegations. As most will remember, "If Selected..." was loathed to believe such scandalous behaviour by such a fine servant to the club, (especially when the sordid character of the allegator came to light), but still felt duty bound to report details of the allegations made. However, it is to Chris' great credit that he has come through this testing time with dignity, has kept on playing (credit must also go Captain Clarke here for keeping faith) and if it could be possible, producing even greater performances.

Perhaps the secret behind Wildsmith's ability is the amount of practice he gets playing in goal for Logica. This game was no exception. In the first half he was all that prevented a rout. It seemed that every time two players went for a header or a tackle, the ball would fall into space where a Thameside player would be waiting to pick it up. There usually followed a long unimaginative hump forward, but this also seemed to always find not a Logica defender in sight but a Thameside forward with a clear run at goal. Two of these produced excellent one-on-one blocks from Wildsmith, who was also regularly employed as a sweeper, having to charge from his penalty area to clear. One such occasion brought a close shave as the clearance went straight to a Thameside player; his cleverly placed shot just grazed the outside of the post. Wildsmith was also prominent from corners, punching a number away in a crowded box. However, the crowning moment was a breath-taking full-length reflex save from a volley only six yards out.

It was inevitable perhaps that with so many opportunities, Thameside would finally beat Wildsmith. Two through-balls inside a ten minute period each found a Thameside forward with only the over-worked keeper to beat, and on each occasion good precise finishing produced low shots which curled just inside the far post. Logica went from bad to worse. Abbott decided to bring on Lambert in a desperate attempt to restore some competence but had a tough time deciding who to take off as everyone was playing so badly. Around this time, Logica carved out their only two chances of the half. First Johnson flicked on a header to Abbott who turned smartly and played a delicate pass into Spence's path. By his own standards, the fit-again striker will have been disappointed as his well struck left foot shot went just over the bar. The Aberdonian nearly made amends minutes later, after again receiving a deft flick from Abbott. This time he had three defenders to beat, but cleverly cut back inside and curled another left-footer just inches wide from twenty yards.

A half-time bollocking seemed to have made little impact when Thameside scored a third within minutes. Their striker again lollopped clear, and his blistering shot hit the far post. Moore failed to clear the rebound, and the ball was hit home : 3-0 to Thameside. It could have been all so different as, seconds before, Abbott had run the length of the home-team's half, and rather than shoot had cut a ball back square to Lambert who side-footed a shot over the bar with just a defender on the line.

The last throw of the dice was to bring on the snivelling Woolhouse to try and provide some service to the forwards. Initially this had little impact, as Thameside continued to create chances at will. Wildsmith again came to the rescue, with a spectacular one handed palm away at full stretch the pick of his saves in this period. But finally with some twenty minutes left and three goals down, Logica began to pose some threat. One goalmouth scramble culminated in the ball being laid back to Woolhouse on the edge of the box, but his shot was too high. A number of breaks fizzled out with crosses too close to the keeper, but then finally a shred of hope. Spence was played in down the left wing, and as he approached the full-back he slipped a ball square to Abbott on the edge of the box. Abbott teased the centre-half before pushing the ball to the left and rifling home an accurate finish just inside the near post.

An increase in confidence led to some Logica pressure, and Lambert beat the offside trap with some ease only to have his shot from a tight angle palmed away for a corner. Then, remarkably, a second Logica goal arrived with an even better finish from Abbott. Woolhouse showed his worth with an accurate forward pass to Abbott on the left. The finely- coiffeured striker dummied and cut inside the last defender, leaving him floundering on the ground. The goalkeeper advanced, and Abbott feinted to shoot. The keeper bought this and dived to no avail, leaving Abbott to chip delicately over the stranded last line and into the net (not completely dissimilar to Chris Sutton's goal at St James Park in the FA Cup, thought one well-informed observer). Back to 3-2, but only eleven minutes left.

Now it was all out attacking in a desperate bid to earn some points that we blatantly didn't deserve, but very nearly got due to the most unlikely people appearing in the most unlikely places. As Logica piled on the pressure, Thameside became more and more desperate. After three bookings for the home team, the Thameside number eight was lucky not to go after a horrendous challenge on Lambert from behind, which effectively reduced the midfielder's participation to a hobble. The resulting free-kick was floated into a massed penalty area, but headed clear. The ball fell to Millar, prowling just outside the box, and the flame- haired terrier from the back hit a perfect first time thunderbolt which beat the excellent Thameside keeper but cannoned back off a post.

With time running out Logica mounted a desperate sortie and got a corner. Woolhouse ambled over to take it (seemingly oblivious to the few seconds remaining, but later admitting he was running as fast as he could), and sent in a vicious cross. Sidaway beat the keeper to the ball, but the goalminder got a hand to the Geordie's header. The ball fell to Spence, who turned on the proverbial sixpence and rifled in a half volley. This was somehow blocked by a knee from nowhere: the ball defected just out of Millar's reach but fell awkwardly to Captain Clarke. Surely this great leader of men could not save the day and the points with a Roy Race style last-minute equaliser?!? Of course not, but he raised a few hopes as his lunging shot hit the side-netting and for a split second everyone thought the ball had gone in. But then it dribbled out behind the goal, and all of Logica realised that any share of the substantial four point haul was now a lost cause.