mr.
crutches

Player: Mitchell Grassie

Supporting Role: Heart of Midlothian & Scotland

Characterisation: A prodigiously talented footballer, Grassie has overcome frequent and serious injury problems to star in the last two Lag World Cup sides. Originally a talented play-making midfielder, the man from Edinburgh now prefers to deploy his wide-ranging skills in the role of sweeper. Recent statistical research calculated that Grassie had spent a cumulative total of forty two years on the treatment table during his glittering career.

BCR=6*: Although gargantuan fatigue from all that running plus an inability to walk will combine to make for a quiet night's sleep, a hotel room packed full of first aid kits, treatment tables and portable surgical equipment may not provide the relaxing environment craved by every Lag prior to a big international tournament. Also the sound of crutch on wooden hotel room floor can begin to grate after a while.

*BCR Guide: The value assigned to each Lag represents the individual's BED COMPATIBILITY RATING (out of ten) - a purely subjective rating which attempts to measure just how good it might be to sleep with each Lag.