monsieur
bleu

Player: Peter Venis

Supporting Role: Brighton and Hove Albion & England

Characterisation: Oozing subtle skills, pace, and an egocentric voting pattern, Happy Pete's left wing tendencies terrorised many an established full back in his youth, and it was only his unique ability to incite his opponents to violence that stopped this legendary wing wizard reaching the very peaks of stardom. Regularly displaying an innate stroppiness that made Cantona and Ginola seem mild-mannered by compare, it was perhaps inevitable that Monsieur Venis would conclude his career south of La Manche. Although preferring to dominate a Lags game from the back, Venis has taken up a more offensive position for FC Couzon, and revisited the successes of his youth when he scored in eight consecutive matches either side of Christmas.

BCR=10*: A view from your bedroom that includes the snow-capped Mont D'Or and the valleys below. Unlimited use of the swimming pool in the garden. Breakfast served to you on a sun-drenched patio. Unrestricted access to ironing facilities. What more could any Lag want? Unfortunately you are unlikely to get it.

*BCR Guide: The value assigned to each Lag represents the individual's BED COMPATIBILITY RATING (out of ten) - a purely subjective rating which attempts to measure just how good it might be to sleep with each Lag.