Player: Ian Clarke

Supporting Role: Fulham & England

Characterisation: Possibly the youngest Lag in history, Clarkie's impeccable credentials arise from his lengthy and legendary reign as Supremo in the mid-nineties. A high calibre man-marking stopper in the Boadicea mould, it is unfortunate for the Logica side that a serious foot injury in 1998 has restricted him to World Cup appearances in recent seasons. Wise lad! His availability for selection was in doubt whilst Fulham appearing in the FA Cup Final or the First Division play-offs was a realistic prospect, and so he was unable to formally accept his invitation to tour until January. [Oh how times have changed! - Ed]

BCR=10*: Quite likely that you will have the room completely to yourself as Clarkie will most likely return very late from a trip to see the Fulham C team play Carlisle United reserves away in a vital post-season friendly. Alternatively, he may have secured an invitation to stay 'chez Tigana'.

*BCR Guide: The value assigned to each Lag represents the individual's BED COMPATIBILITY RATING (out of ten) - a purely subjective rating which attempts to measure just how good it might be to sleep with each Lag.